More shoes: these men’s lace-ups (my uninformed guess is 1960s, judging by the stamped leather label inside, but possibly earlier) have a certain character about them, and they’ve since polished up well. Sadly, they’re about a half-size too small for S the Lodger and a size too small for D, so a new home is pending. They were only 50p, anyway. And for me – from Chailey jumble sale, 30p each – a pair of navy-blue Cos cropped cotton trousers (below, left) and a very tight black Zara pencil skirt (below, right), plus an embroidered tablecloth. Now, as someone who has not owned a television for nearly 15 years and who has never bought one of the so-called celebrity magazines (though I admit to having occasionally leafed through Hello! or similar, out of sheer horror, in a friend’s loo), I usually claim to be impervious to such influences, but even I am not totally unaware of the phenomenon that is Kim Kardashian’s Arse, and that this appears to have made it marginally more acceptable to have a big bum in a clinging skirt. Inspired by this thought I will, therefore, brave this pencil skirt and its stretch-fabric panels, though this is not, I fear, a garment I will be able to cycle in.